Wedded Bliss

Never before have i been so shocked and confused...Tartly doesnt scare very easy and has been known to have confronted some very serious situations over the years...just like the time when i was holed up in a dreadful hotel in India during the heady 70's,  whilst on secondment for the Australian Government in Calcutta, here was Tartly faced with the dire siutation of no soap and a drinks bar that had no Glenfiddich Scotch Whiskey, yes i was wild and rampaging like a wounded bull...how dare they think that a man of my culture could survive without a lovely milk soap on my fair english skin or a wiskey that is smoother than a babies bottom with a touch of ice...was it too much too ask....i think not...no wonder we left that hell hole after they wanted to defrock the Grand English sewing machine(Singer) for a cheap copy from Czechoslavakia...though i digress....it has come to my esteemed attention that there are so called men in this country that are wanting not only to kiss each other...shock , horror but want to enter wedded bliss....i dont know where i must have been sleeping but since when have good looking strong men wanted to kiss other good looking strong men...i've never heard of such balderdash....what these men need are a good thrashing with a Cat O Nine Tails or to be sent to do some manly things, like fight a war in Afghanistan on horseback...maybe a war on terror, why not join a gentlemans football club and play fullforward for a season or two...mark my words there'd be  no bottom slapping going on there...maybe even take up El Greco wrestling with all those oil lathered bodies and tight grips...they didn't call them the full nelson for nothing...yes that was after one of my great forebears...Lord Admiral Horatio Nelson...now there was a man if i ever knew one....but let that be a story for another day....no kissing men there...though i feel i  digress...let me say this' when our beloved Commander in Chief...Lord Tony Abbott hears of this madness of men kissing men and getting married...he will raise the stakes like a lone poker shark in that den of eniquity,  Las Vegas....no,mark my words, there's only one institution that can bring a grown man or boy to his knees....the Catholic Church....now there's a wholesome, god fearing, manly institution if we ever had one in this great country of ours....yes the Catholic church, though i cant stand the pope, he  will surely  rectify the situation(pardon the disgusting pun) of this so called marriage equality saga.....hopefully by the time Tartly's afternoon nap passes, it will all have been just a bad dream....till then ....tootily poops Tartly   ,