The Budget

The budget is something as an intellectual ,I take very seriously....Tartly,s father Lord Byron of Montegu would always espouse the following, remember Tartly these two things in life....firstly death is final and the second, once the soufflé has risen it will rise no more. Yes I always pondered those wise words from the Great wise one and carried that with me on this journey of life. Budgets are like soufflés....not everyone likes them...in fact i abhor them....real men prefer meat or something that has died violently...if there's no blood how can we espouse our manliness....Spartacus wouldn't have eaten a salad or tofu burger... Though I digress....the do gooders whinge and whine about Lord Abbots budget...these communists want us to share the wealth, God forbid that this would ever happen, if we did that then there wouldn't be a rich and poor, the have and the have nots...that's why our two tier system works so well....we have our place and they have there's,preferably not in our double bay...Which reminds me why hasn't Tony Abbott been made a proper Lord yet, God knows he deserves it  for supporting our wonderful monarchy and saving this great country from the abyss of Labors errant ways. No Tony Abbott is a true visionary and has the uncanny ability to understand the philosophical intricacies of global fiscal economics and dare i say a good friend to the cause of coal mining... Which reminds me it may be time to offload some dirty bricks. How  that  Pygmy of a man ,Bill Shorten could try and wrench my hard earned offshore investments  to pay taxes and as such is an affront to any wealthy elitist such as my good self. Luckily I sit in my chaise lounge supping my mulled wine with aubergine pate trying to calm my nerves from this horrendous fiscal attack ,whilst my wealth grows expedidentially of course. Yes the budget can be a real bastard and I choose to suffer in silence tootily poops Tartly